I've never had a more emotional experience or connection to a single place than the Kotel.
I hadn't realized that I was actually in Israel until I actually saw the wall. I turned the corner after going through security and it hit me. I'm in Israel, standing at the most holy place in our entire religion. It was an overwhelming feeling to be at a place that 2000 years ago, people had the exact same footing that I did, that people stood in the same exact spot that I did. As soon as I walked into the women's side of the wall, emotion took over and my eyes filled with tears. I have never appreciated a place so much in my life. I walked slowly towards the wall taking it all in, crying like I'd never felt such a sense of belonging. I never thought it would be such a big deal to go visit. I always thought it would just be one of those really cool things to see but I was genuinely happy to be there. I even hesitated to touch the stones that made up the Kotel. And as soon as I did, I almost collapsed. I kept my hand on the wall for much longer than I probably thought I did. I connected so deeply to, what is only a wall to some people. I felt as though I was one with the wall and all the women around me. The words to truly describe this experience cannot be found at the moment. The spiritual side of me really came out today when I touched the Kotel. It was by far the most wonderful experience I had.
Before we actually entered the Kotel area, our Madrichim (counselors) gave us a bit of a native plant to Jerusalem and a slip of paper for meditation which I didn't read until I stepped back from the wall and was about thirty feet away from it I finally pulled out the slip of paper. It said, "You stand before the Kotel, the holiest of places. If you could transport any person (living or deceased) to this spot right now to share in this experience with you who would you bring and why?" I immediately thought of Sammy Sommer. Low and behold, the tears started streaming again, because this beautiful young boy would never have the chance to see this absolutely unbelievable and holy place again. It truly broke my heart, and I know it breaks all of his family's hearts, especially Phyllis and Michael. They are the two strongest and loving parents that I know and I love them more than anything. They are like my second family and Sammy's loss was hard for not only their family, but mine as well. The Sommer family was on my mind all night and even after the experience at the Kotel.
We left the Kotel to go to a Debbie Friedman memorial service where they sang "Those who sow" which was sung at Sammy's funeral. I'm so lucky to have had been sitting by so many beautiful and caring human beings during that song because I started to cry again. Its been a little more than a month and its still very raw that this amazing, strong eight year old boy, full of life and wonder, had to leave us so soon. I'm still very appreciative that I have the opportunity to be in Israel with my googly eyes to put all over and all my friends that are here for me whether we are super close or not. I love them all and I love the Sommer family more than one could imagine.
The Kotel will always be the most special place, most definitely causing tears everytime I think about it and/or go there. I'm very glad that my first experience was with people I trust and people I will be living with for the next four months.
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